A pattern....yes, that is what I have been noticing lately in some discussions of adoption issues. Here is how it goes, "I understand the position of X, but.......Then there are comments like, "There is no right or wrong", "Each situation is different", or other similar remarks.

For the record, I do not believe in the government being a "big brother" type of force that governs every minute detail of our life. However, I do feel strongly that certain laws and guidelines are essential. Without them, we would be running amok with no sense of order. I also understand and applaude the theory of personal choice and different solutions for the different situations and individuals.

However, I believe that in adoption, we are so overly concerned with the idea of "choices", that we are not taking stands on much of anything. There really are some practices in adoption that are "right" and some that are just plain "wrong".

Adoption is not a new practice concept in this country. By now, we should have at least some concrete ideas about what works, what doesn't and what is best for our children. The bottom line always - should not be what we prefer, or fits best for us, or what we want - but what is best for our children. Can we afford to be selfish when we are talking about our children?

Admittedly, there are some gray areas, and in some instances that different options make sense and are appropriate. However, in attempts to provide flexibility and choice, I think we are missing the boat and trying to be too flexible in adoption. I am going to repeat my previous statement again. Some adoption practices are "right" and some are not. It really is that simple. While there is room for personal preferences in many areas of adoption, I wish we could agree that for certain adoption practices, "one size does fits all".

To be Continued.......................................