Except for waxing on about the pleasurable and potentially healing aspects of reunion, I generally write about the less positive parts of adoption. Over the years, adoption has been presented as a joyous and wholly positive experience. Consequently, most people understand consider adoption as a mostly positive experience. Until the past few years, birth mother's voices were silenced.

Since most people already know about the joys of adoption, I feel no need to speak of the "rosy" side of adoption. I do not deny that adoption is a joyous experience for some. However, as a birth mom who has more contact with other birth parents and adoptees, I see little joy in them. Instead, I see an abundance of raw pain and heartache. I believe that there is a grave need for both sides of adoption to be heard.

Despite my normally positive spin on life, I find myself in a position to write about the injustices and the negatives in adoption. That doesn't mean that I believe adoption is all bad - I do not. I do believe alot should change though, and that is what I need to write about.

On other days, I believe my writing to be therapeutic and cathartic for me personally. I know that writing has helped me heal. It has aided me in letting go of much of the baggage I held onto so tightly for so many years regarding my son’s relinquishment and adoption. Writing about my adoption journey has provided me with an outlet and a release. It has been a method to get my feelings out and weaken their power over me.

There are also those days when I hate writing about adoption, and just want to stop completely. I want to escape from thinking about adoption. Maybe not entire days do I feel that way, but, more brief moments in time. Those moments are reflective moments that I ask myself if constantly keeping the subject of adoption in my consciousness isn’t some sort of self-torture. I want to neatly bundle up all my hurt and grief into an orderly packet and shove it back into the closet.

To Be Continued......................................