If you heard anything about adoption in 1969, it was strictly positive. There was no Internet, no birth mother support groups and counseling was virtually non-existent. No one really talked about it much at all. No one told me that I would forget, but it was implied that it was something you get over in time.

It was only supposed to hurt for awhile. Otherwise, you'd think that they would tell you, right? If you go to the doctor for surgery, he spells out all the risks, right? Come to think of it, no one told me anything about what to expect.

Fast forward to 2006. Adoption is finally being discussed. If you search the forums, you can read about the pros and cons. There are some books now about the dark side of adoption. Nevertheless, for every negative book, there are at least 50 positive ones. That does make it somewhat confusing for a young pregnant woman trying to decide between her options.

Some people still want to present adoption to pregnant women as a "wonderful choice" without explaining the risks to them or their children. That is my chief gripe about adoption.

Adoption can be the best choice for a woman and her child. However, we understand now that denial is common in pregnant women in crisis, and we need to take that into account. Our young mothers deserve proper counseling before they place babies for adoption. They are in crisis mode, and we need to help them make a fully informed decision - a choice that will stand up over time.

Maybe their choice will be adoption. Sometimes adoption is the best available option. However, unless a woman is fully informed of all the possible risks and consequences, it is virtually impossible for her to make a choice that can be considered valid. For a decision to make sense and be one that holds up over time, you need honest and complete information. Otherwise, yes, she is a victim and will be singing "Woe is me" years down the road.