Part one, and Part 2 discuss some of the varied opinions about who has a "right" to search. Now I will answer that question from my perspective.

I did not search myself for many of the usual reasons. Birth Mothers Who Do Not Search explains many of those reasons.

Prior to reunion, I was so buried in denial I had not given much though to anyone searching. Over the years it vaguely occurred to me that my son might search, but, it was a fleeting fantasy thought. I believed searches were very rare and something that only happened in extraordinary circumstances.

Reunion changed all my opinions about adoption including search and reunion. Until I met reunited triad members, I really had little personal experience with reunions and why people sought them. After meeting many adoptees, birth parents and a few adoptive parents, I began to understand many of the dynamics that cause people to search and reunite.

I have heard both adoptees and birth parents say that they feel that it is up to the other person to search. However, I have often wondered if each party is always waiting for the other to search how reunions ever happen.

An adoptee on the forum recently told a birth mom how lucky hew son was that she was searching for him. She also went on to say that it is a dream of adoptees to look on sites and find birth family searching for them.

When I interviewed rapper DMC recently I asked him what he thought about birth parents searching. "I think it is beautiful," he said.

Here's what I have decided about who should search. I do not think that it really matters who searches - as long as someone does. Reunions are not easy, and building relationships after a meeting are very challenging. However, there is the possibility for tremendous healing, so, I believe that they need to happen.

I consider "being found" one of best gifts a person can offer to a birth family member. It is offering the gift of your love to them and the opportunity for healing, peace and resolution - a gift that no one else can provide.