If an older child is adopted these stages of development may have been interrupted. I think that it can be overcome by parents who let their child know that you care and that you will always be there. The importance of loving interaction can help that trust be built between the child and the parents and be very important.

If adopting internationally, the attachment behavior in that culture may be different. Someone recently told me that the child they adopted who was of Asian decent was not comfortable being held when crying. She would quiet down if she was laid on the floor near her mother and spoken to softly. She was about 7 months old when placed in the adoptive home and once she became calmer, she would crawl into the adoptive mothers lap for a hug.

When adopting internationally, these children are usually older and I would think would more than likely follow the same paths as other children but it may be in different ways or in a different time frame.

As the child becomes preschool age I think this is a time that is filled with non stop questions. I believe that the more comfortable parents are in trying to answer their questions honestly, the more encouraged the child will be to learn. During these years I think it is important to respond to questions honestly but may not be the best time to emphasize adoption. I don’t think a child can understand the concept of adoption at this age.

I know there is a point where children ask questions of how babies are born. This may be the perfect opportunity to introduce the subject of adoption by explaining where babies come from, how they get here, and how families are formed. I think that this information is valuable to the child in order to understand the concept of adoption.