2) For other adoptees, adoption is a major lifelong issue for them. They struggle with not knowing their roots. Issues of abandonment, trust and identity may be common within this group. Like some birth parents, their adoptive status seems to affect every decision they make, and is often on their minds. Adoptees in this group feel a keen sense of the loss of their heritage and roots. How they were raised does not seem pertinent as to whether adoption is a huge issue for them or not. Many adoptees that I know who have wonderful adoptive families still are troubled and looking for some resolution. This type of adoptee often feels a need to search. They wants answers, resolution, peace and sometimes a search (and sometimes reunion)may be the best route.

3) The most common category is probably a combination of the first two. Although I meet many adoptees who are highly affected by their adoptive status in a negative way, I also meet many who are less negatively affected. Some adoptees have the ability to work through their loss issues better than others, perhaps as their own birth parents do. Their adoptive status is an issue for them, but not a debilitating one. They probably have found ways to deal with it through therapy. Adoptees in this category may search even if in general they are not conflicted and troubled greatly by their adoptive status.

Through this post, I am not attempting to categorize and/or label adoptees, but to offer some insights into how different they all tend to be. Meeting different adoptees at reunion helped me try to understand my own son.

One of the most interesting facts I have learned about adoptees is that even those with the best adoptive families still may deal with big adoption issues to deal with. Although we would all love to believe that good adoptive parenting can fix everything that does not seem to always be the case. Good adoptive parenting can often make an enormous difference however, and that is good news!