Reunion – what happens after the first contact or the first meeting? Rarely does everyone instantly mesh into one big happy family like this adorable fantasy group strolling down the street. Ask five reunited adoptees or birth parents about their reunion. You may receive an equal number of varied responses. Many relationships develop after the initial flurry of interest.

There are also situations in which the initial contact provides enough answers that one party in reunion may not need a need for further contact. This is especially hurtful when the other party desperately does want a continuing relationship.

I think those who want a warm loving and relationship to develop often fear that may never happen. Or, they fear that even if a relationship does happen, it may not last. There are a whole mixed bag of possibilities that occur after that initial “hello”. Most people enter reunion with much trepidation. It is a highly scary event and worries about the ultimate outcome continue even after that initial contact. There are minefields strewn all over, and most people in reunion step very gingerly to avoid setting them off. "Walking on eggshells" is common during reunion.

The best idea for one entering into a reunion is to not have any expectations. The second best way to handle the situation is to try to have realistic expectations. Neither option is easy for most of us. Having no expectations is nearly impossible, however, you can develop a set of expectations that may at least be realistic for your particular situation. You cannot know instantly what to expect. Only after getting to know the other party first, and “feeling them out” will you be able to proceed with enough information to know how plausible it is that a relationship may develop.

Even when a relationship does develop, there may be a great deal of negotiation involved. There are several issues that need to be addressed eventually.

To Be Continued.................................………………………………………………