Comments on: Birth Mother Privacy – A Myth or Reality? http://birthfamily-search.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/title-702 Information for those searching for those who have been adopted or their birth families. Thu, 15 Oct 2009 22:44:32 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: westcoastbmom http://birthfamily-search.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/title-702/comment-page-1#comment-539 westcoastbmom Sun, 21 Jun 2009 18:02:38 +0000 http://adoption-sea.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/05/02/title-702#comment-539 Wow...adoptionreforist. What a way to guilt trip someone. Even in intact families there's no guarantee you'll ever know family medical history. My family of origin is a very closemouthed family and they don't discuss personal things...and they get very upset if asked. You have absolutely NO RIGHT to judge the first poster, nor any other birth mother like this! I feel the exact same way about it...only difference was the State of California violated my privacy and gave the adoptee and his "sainted" a-mom IDENTIFYING information they were NOT supposed to get., then they both contacted me and eventually I got delivered a kick to the face from my child with their critical and judgmental comments. I hope I never see nor hear from either of those two again. They turned my life upside down. How is it an "even" playing field when on side can come in and criticize and judge and be invasive and the other has to sit back and take it???? Wow…adoptionreforist. What a way to guilt trip someone. Even in intact families there’s no guarantee you’ll ever know family medical history. My family of origin is a very closemouthed family and they don’t discuss personal things…and they get very upset if asked. You have absolutely NO RIGHT to judge the first poster, nor any other birth mother like this! I feel the exact same way about it…only difference was the State of California violated my privacy and gave the adoptee and his “sainted” a-mom IDENTIFYING information they were NOT supposed to get., then they both contacted me and eventually I got delivered a kick to the face from my child with their critical and judgmental comments. I hope I never see nor hear from either of those two again. They turned my life upside down. How is it an “even” playing field when on side can come in and criticize and judge and be invasive and the other has to sit back and take it????

]]> By: adoptionreformist http://birthfamily-search.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/title-702/comment-page-1#comment-538 adoptionreformist Sat, 29 Dec 2007 15:10:58 +0000 http://adoption-sea.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/05/02/title-702#comment-538 susannyc, Yes you did make a very difficult decision to give your child life instead of killing it. However, has ANYTHING medical happened in you family since you had that child? If so, do you feel it is fair to the child or even YOUR future grandchildren, NOT to know that those medical complications may be? Remember YOUR child that you RELINQUISHED, NEVER had a say in the contract YOU and the STATE made or in the contract that the STATE and their new parents made. You can have your anonymity, however give your now ADULT person UPDATED medical information so they are working from a even playing field. susannyc,
Yes you did make a very difficult decision to give your child life instead of killing it. However, has ANYTHING medical happened in you family since you had that child? If so, do you feel it is fair to the child or even YOUR future grandchildren, NOT to know that those medical complications may be?

Remember YOUR child that you RELINQUISHED, NEVER had a say in the contract YOU and the STATE made or in the contract that the STATE and their new parents made.

You can have your anonymity, however give your now ADULT person UPDATED medical information so they are working from a even playing field.

]]> By: susannyc http://birthfamily-search.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/title-702/comment-page-1#comment-537 susannyc Mon, 12 Nov 2007 17:46:25 +0000 http://adoption-sea.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/05/02/title-702#comment-537 I'm a birthmother and I want privacy. I don't want the child i gave up for adoption to ever find me. I understand curiosity but I chose adoption with the understanding that privacy would be the undeniable fact. If I had an inclination I would be found one day by the child, I would have had an abortion, thats just a simple fact and not a pro or con either way. I made the most difficult decision of my life and gave the child life,then gave the child up so they could actually have a life. All I ask for in return is anonymity. Thats it. I don't want to ever be found and I don't want the child to know who i am or was or who i've become. <br /> I’m a birthmother and I want privacy. I don’t want the child i gave up for adoption to ever find me. I understand curiosity but I chose adoption with the understanding that privacy would be the undeniable fact. If I had an inclination I would be found one day by the child, I would have had an abortion, thats just a simple fact and not a pro or con either way. I made the most difficult decision of my life and gave the child life,then gave the child up so they could actually have a life. All I ask for in return is anonymity. Thats it. I don’t want to ever be found and I don’t want the child to know who i am or was or who i’ve become.

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