At the beginning of reunion, I wondered how much my son would want to be in touch on holidays. I tried to keep my expectations low. However, once your child comes back into your life at reunion,you may be tempted to expect them to fit neatly into your life just like your other children.

However, if you are being realistic, you know that the child that you did not raise will never quite feel like your child as your other children do. You may feel like his or her mother, but your relinquished child will rarely feel like you are their parent. That is natural and inevitable. Sometimes adoptees embrace their birth mothers and consider her another mother. It seems the exception and not the rule.

For over thirty years, whenever anyone asked me how many children I had, I always said "two." Deep in the inner recesses of my soul, I knew that was a lie. However, when I relinquished my son to adoption, I thought I could also stop being his mother. All those years we were apart, I thought of him not as my son, but as someone else's child. That is what good birth mothers were supposed to believe. It never felt quite right though to deny my son.

Reunion changed everything for me. The instant the social worker called to tell me that "my son" was searching for me, a light bulb popped on in my brain. Ah yes, he is my son, he really is! I remember thinking and feeling our connection; it was a pivotal moment in my life.

Fast toward to today, Easter 2007, and I did get a call from Chris wishing me "Happy Easter." Our relationship has developed slowly and steadily over the past 6 years. He first called me on my birthday and Christmas. Now, he has added other holidays as well.

Our relationship has evolved in a very positive direction. The first two years, there were some major challenges, but it has gotten much easier and better. We were both committed to making our relationship work, and I believe that has been a major part of why it has become strong.

Like all mothers, my children are on my mind on each holiday. All three of my children are adults with busy lives, so I generally wait to hear from them on holidays. Each time the telephone rang today, I smiled knowing that it was probably one of my children. As I hung up after each call, my heart was a bit happier.

The last telephone call today was from Chris. I was not certain that he would call, but he did. He was in a happy, cheerful mood, and said that his day had been perfect. I like to believe that at the end of a perfect day calling me was a good sign. For so many years, I tried to deny my son. Yet, in the end, he IS my son and our bond feels strong and healthy. Hearing from him at the end of my Easter day made my day complete, and I am thankful.

Here is the first article that I ever wrote and sent in to adoption.com. This article is about a Sunday morning telephone call that I received from my son.

The quote below comes from a story written by an adoptee about her reunion called
April 2, 2000, One of the Best Days of my Life. I know how she feels.

"Today they are all a part of my life and of my family. My parents also think of them as extended family. Bob, Hannah, Ben, and Bob's wife Karen all come to family events, like birthdays, and just to visit as much as we can with our busy schedules. We also talk on the phone as much as possible."