For anyone who celebrates the holiday, Merry Christmas! If you celebrate another holiday, I wish you good wishes for whatever holiday you do celebrate.

Some suggestions have been offered for Christmas presents for triad members. As a reunited mother, I have thought what could have made a difference to me over the years when my son and I were still apart. Photos and information about him would have been welcomed and cherished.

However, I think that best present that anyone can ever give a birth/first mother is contact with her child. My son gave me that gift when he found me over five years ago. I am convinced that nothing else could have ever provided me with the sense of peace that I now have. If you have read my blog, this is not a revelation, but I repeat it because it is in my heart.

The admiration that I feel for those in open adoptions who make it work is great. It cannot be easy, and I have nothing but the utmost respect for those able to navigate the challenges of open adoptions.

There is a saying that the best present that a father can offer to his children is to love their mother. In open adoptions, the best present all parents can give their child is to love all their child's other parents.

Treat them with respect, honor them and their bond with your/their child. Nothing else that you can possibly do will come close to the joy that will bring to them. Forming a closed bond between all parents also is a selfless gift to a child. It can offer a child a rare gift that no one else can ever bestow on them.

For birth parents, do the same. Appreciate and value the love and attention that your child's adoptive parents provide them. If they are doing a good job of parenting, tell them so.