Susi is an educated, bilingual Guatemalan hired by adoptive parents who wish to locate their Guatemalan children’s birth mothers…. But most often she’ll travel throughout Guatemala, often deep into the countryside, to knock on the door of a woman who hasn’t received news of a child she placed for adoption years before.
This interview caught my eye. It is an between a Guatemalan searcher and an adoptive parent. The searcher says that she has conducted 193 searches and of those, 160 of them have been successful.
I thought this was a pretty interesting interview and mostly sensitive and informative. The question from the adoptive mom about “what about birth mothers who show no visible emotion” seemed somewhat peculiar to me though. Maybe peculiar is not the right word, there was just something about some of her comments that made me wonder.
Although I do not really know that much about Guatemala, her description of how women who relinquish babies to adoption there sounds plausible. I cannot begin to imagine how a desperately poor mother in Guatemala makes a “choice” as to which child to keep and which to relinquish. How defeated and desperate those mothers have to feel to “choose” adoption for some of their children.
No matter where a mother lives, worrying about her ability to provide for her child financially sometimes makes her believe that she has no “choice”. Maybe it is more than she cannot see any other choice but adoption sometimes? If you cannot see any other options, is “choice” the right word?
I remember feeling trapped, unable to find a way to keep my son and raise him. And yet, people often think birth mothers do not “want” their children, or love them. Yet, that was never any part of why I relinquished my son. I have to believe that for women all over the world, relinquishment is often an act of desperation.
For me, it is encouraging to know that some adoptive parents recognize that their children may want or need to know their roots and birth family some day. Many of our adoptive parents bloggers here at adoption.com understand, and I believe that their children can only benefit from feeling understood.