However, I believe that we need to listen and hear all adoptees, with negative and positive experiences with adoption. Most adoptees that I know have both. The good, the bad and the ugly - adoption has all those elements and all need to be recognized.

I think this is a good topic and I am also a friend of Amyadoptee whose blog is excellent, too. One problem that I see is that many people in the adoption reform movement as they call it, insist that the people they call the "anti-adoptionists" are enemies. Why should someone like Wraith or adoptees or mothers of adoption loss pretend that they like adoption AS IT EXISTS TODAY, when for many of us it had such a negative impact on our lives. It seems as if the objectors to people speaking out honestly about their own personal opinion, are more concerned that people expressing themselves honestly, thoughtfully and intelligently are going to turn off adoptive parents or legislators. This is so naive and pointless and a major part of the reason nothing gets done.

Anyone who reads what "anti-adoptionists" (your term, not mine) writes see that for the most part everyone recognizes that there will always be children who need homes and that their mothers cannot or will not parent them. Rather than name calling and trying to shame these people - read carefully. Just as many of the adoption experts are now suggesting, they are merely expressing an opinion that the closed, secretive adoption system is dramatically flawed. Legalized Guardianship is not only more humane and honest, but would prevent the life-long impact that the closed system has had on many adoptees and mothers who were expected to carry on silently.

The reality is that intelligent people do not live well with mystery and it is no wonder so many adoptees and mothers have negative feelings. We need to respect that was their experience and they should be allowed to express.

I hate labels. Anti-adoptionists sadly has become a label that some so called "reformers" now use to denigrate others. Why can't we all have different opinions? I guess my reaction when I read that you were going to have a future blog about "anti adoptionists", was to wonder how you really know what they think or feel? And if you write about "anti adoptionists", why not write about "pro-adoptionists"?

Anti is so negative and makes the issue black or white instead of the many shades of grey that it is. I applaud Wraith for his honesty. I also find it interesting that because he is an adoptee, he doesn't get berated. But seriously, don't you find it curious that the mothers who are now anti-adoption are constantly insulted? There is way too much time spent on comparing the differences rather than working together for a common goal.

I use the term anti-adoption simply because it describes the way people in that movement feel about adoption. As to how they feel, yes, I do know how they feel. I know several people who are 100% against adoption very well. I understand why they feel as they do.

I do not intend to write about the anti-adoption faction to denigrate them, but to try to help explain why they feel as they do.

I agree though that it is unfortunate that people who basically believe in many of the same things attack each other instead of uniting, and yes, working for a common goal.

Curious? I am not certain I would use that word, but it bothers me that people do not understand others' views on adoption.