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1) Choose Who will search. Decide whether you want to make your search a personal quest or pay an agency or searcher for execute the search for you;
2) Request Non-identifying Information.. Obtain your non-identifying information from either the state in which your adoption occurred or the adoption agency; (I will share some tips on how to increase your chances of getting more info in the non-id in an upcoming blog entry.)
3) Request for Contact. If your adoption was through an agency, get in touch with them to see if a form called “Consent for Contact” or a letter has been placed in your file requesting contact. If not, ask if you can place a letter or consent in the file.
4) Register. Register with several of the largest mutual consent registeries, and if your state has a registry, sign up there as well.
5) Journal.. If you have decided to pop on your detective hat and embark on the journey yourself, start a journal or notebook about your search. Record every detail in said journal or notebook, no matter how insignificant it may appear at the time. (More later about the theory behind this idea.)
6) Talk to Others.. If you are an adoptee, I encourage you to speak to your adoptive parents, seek their support and try to get any info or documentation that they may have. If you are a birth parent searching, speak to any one who was around at the time of your relinquishment who might know any details.
7) Find Support. Search and reunion can be intense experiences. If you can put together a supportive team to encourage you in your journey, it will be much easier for you. In addition to finding an adoption support group, enlist the support of friends and family. (More on what kind of support you need later.)
Check State. – Most states have information on their websites about adoption access in the state. You need to refer to the website in the state in which the adoption was finalized to find out the laws regarding access to adoption records. Access to adoption records varies greatly from state to state.
