Here is a another nice reunion story. The adoptee in this story is a minister who discovered that his birth mother was deceased, however, he found siblings and other relatives.

John pauses now and then as he tells his story, his emotions overflowing.

"As far as the discovery of my birth family," he says, "it's been an incredible healing for both sides. These aunts never violated their sisters' wishes. This has enabled them, and there are no secrets to keep anymore."

This man's situation brings up the point that so many people take adoption secrets to their graves. Seems so sad and unnecessary to me. Hopefully, with our less judgmental times, this practice will become obselete. I do recall a conversation that I once had with an private investigator who specialized in adoption searching. She told me that the older the birth mom, the greater the chance that she would refuse contact.

It does make sense to me that the older birth moms may be more afraid to tell others about their relinquished child, and may have more difficulty breaking out of the denial mode. However, many of us older birth moms are eager for reunion even if we are fearful about telling others.

An adoptee friend of mine found her birth mother a few years ago, and her birth mother was 72 years old. Yet, she welcomed my friend with open arms, and told her that she was glad that she found her before she died. There are no absolutes, you cannot predict how that person that you search for will feel.

Even though search and reunion are fraught with risk, and uncertain outcomes, few people who search regret the experience. The same could be said for reunions, most people who reunite are glad that they did, even when the relationship is not what they might have expected. You just never know!