First, I will start with a disclaimer. In case you haven't been following this blog, I have been here writing about search and reunion for over a year. It is a reasonable assumption that I would not be doing so unless I believed in the value of reunions. Part of my motivation is the positive benefits that my reunion have offered to me.

However, I know many adoptees and birth parents whose searches have produced very differing results. Some reunions have resulted that have been phenomenal with strong and long-lasting relationships as the end product. Other searches have ended in rejection from either an adoptee or a birth parent. However, even those whose searched resulted in rejection do not regret their searches. In fact, few people say that they wish that they had not searched. The people who do say that they regret a search feel dissatisfied with the relationship that developed and wish that they had waited for the other person to search.

Now you know that I believe wholeheartedly in reunions, I will tell you why I believe as I do. Unless you enter a search with unrealistic expectations, there is a probability that a search will be a good experience for you. It will be an interesting journey no matter what the ultimate results. For most people, the best case scenario is finding a loving, caring birth parent/family or a child eager to reunite and build a relationship.

Others may want only information and have no interest in a reunion relationship. If you believe that you fall into this category, I urge you not to rule out the possibility of at least some initial contact before ruling out a relationship. Many adoptees begin a search stating that they only want medical information, but eventually decide that they really want more than that. In a way, it may seem safer to say that you just want medical information.

A search is a choice. It is a decision about which path to take. Even when you decide not to search, you have chosen by your lack of action.