I absolutely agree that in the closed adoption era things may not have been handled in the best possible way. Many, not all, may feel as if they were coerced. I wasn’t in their shoes so I can’t say if there were or not but I do believe that adoption is different today. I do believe that counseling is taking place with many of the natural mothers, and it is the natural mothers that make the choices. There are more choices available now such as closed adoption, semi open adoption, and an open adoption and it is the natural mother who can choose what she would like.

My point to this is that adoption today is not what it use to be. Is it perfect? No, probably not. Could it be improved upon? Without a doubt. It took me a long time to get past my own issues with adoption to be able to see that and the analogy of the amputee making the right decision is not a fair analogy, in my opinion. Asking anyone if something was the right decision is not fair because you don’t know what would of or could have happened if you made a different decision. The bottom line is that making decisions is something that everyone has to do for themselves and what is right for them. In hindsight, someone may think that they should have made a different decision, but life doesn’t work that way. One can’t go back and change their decisions because of hindsight. What if the tables for adoption and relinquishment were turned and the mother chose to raise her child. If keeping the child did not work out well, for whatever reason, do you think she would say she made the wrong decision to raise her child and that she should have relinquished her to adoption. Possibly. Things are often 20/20 in hindsight.

It is the triad members of the closed adoption era that have paved the way for the changes in the practice of adoption. It was from those speaking out and educating society that things needed to change in the practice of adoption. Things have changed for the better in the practice of adoption because those affected by closed adoption have spoken out, but they are not universally against adoption. Adoption isn’t going to go away. As a result, many persons with personal experience of adoption have chosen to focus their efforts on reform -- on educating the public, as well as triad members, about our experiences of the closed, open and semi-open adoption to help facilitate further change for the better.

Adoption will never be perfect. There will always be unresolved issues, as there are with other things in life. Not everyone will support the adoption process. Some will remain opposed to adoption no matter what reforms are instituted. However, if adoption can be made more accountable and more humane in practice many people will benefit, including children for whom adoption is the best available option.