During my years of involvement in the adoption community there have been instances that myself or other triad members were confronted with insensitive and/or insulting remarks, rude questions, unsolicited advice, and general ignorance. The biggest offenders of these myths are the media. The media reinforces these myths and the only way to dispel them is to educate society and the media. There are times that I feel like I am constantly facing a challenge to get others to see that adoption search and reunion is a way to healing and is desirable to many triad members. Sadly though, there are myths about adoption that I thought I would try and dispel a couple of them.

Myth #1: - Adoptees are trouble makers. There are movies that actually reinforce this myth such as Problem Child. This movie is about a 7 year old child who was adopted. Her behavior includes cruelty to animals, arson, and urinating in inappropriate places. The movie is full of untrue stereotypes.

A Time magazine article entitled “When the Lullaby Ends” reported that parents return children who were adopted in the United States. The article states that the reason these children are returned because they have emotional problems or because they failed to meet the parents expectations. The article also states that 2% of all adoptions in the US are disrupted but it still gives readers the impression that adopted children are second rate commodities that come with a warranty. This article was in the June 4, 1990 issue of Time Magazine. The article can be read by visiting http://www.time.com/time/archive/preview/0,10987,970303,00.html. You may have to login or subscribe to gain free access to the entire article.

Myth #2: - All adopted persons have traumatic birth histories. This is not only thought in society but the media also reinforces this. The story lines in movies and soap operas promote this myth as well. They accentuate the dangers of adopting a child whose genetic heritage is not known.

The soap opera General Hospital on ABC is currently doing a story line where a natural mother is searching for her daughter. Unknown to the birth mother the daughter she relinquished to adoption as a newborn infant is also searching. The natural mother believes that her baby had died at birth however, the daughter know that this woman is her natural mother. She is struggling with whether or not to tell this woman she is her daughter and that her daughter did not die.

Several years ago, on this same soap opera, the story line focused around the above natural mother who relinquished her daughter to adoption. The family that adopted the baby bought her baby from a lawyer specializing in black market adoptions The adoptive mother learned the natural mother was a former friend who had been told her baby had died at birth the adoptive mother turned to deceit that ended up costing her the child and other members of her family.

My guess is that the positive stories of adoption are not dramatic enough to attract viewers. Therefore, the media perpetuates that there is something pitiful about adoption and triad members.