I find the subtitle more than a little ironic -- as though Roe v. Wade eliminated anguished motherhood. The idea that aborting a child is preferable to placing him or her for adoption is proposterous, not to mention morally repugnant.

The unwed mothers were traumatized by having to put their children up for adoption? No doubt. However, I have yet to meet a woman who had an abortion who was not traumatized by the guilty memory of it, even years after the fact.

I do agree that Roe v Wade did not eliminate anguished motherhood. It did offer another choice for some women though. Forcing a woman to bear a child against her will does not make much sense to me.

I have met more women traumatized by adoption than abortion. Not everyone agrees that abortion is a proposterous or morally repugnant choice. Adoption and abortion are both difficult choices. It is a matter of opinion as to which is more traumatic for a woman.

Personally, I am pro-parenting. Don't really want to debate abortion v. adoption here though.

The book has nothing to do with abortion. It has to do with a time period where many women were essentially forced into releasing their child for adoption because of intense social stigma.

Thanks Ellen. I suspect that if the title even riles some adoptive moms, the book may too. I hope that many adoptive moms will read and be open minded enough to get past the judgmental mode.

I've begun reading and will write my review soon. So far, the stories are like many I have heard in person from birth moms - sad, tragic true events. It is striking the same threads run through all the stories.

I am looking forward to reading this book because I was one of "The Girls Who Went Away" in the 60's and believe me, society was not forgiving during that time of any girl who was pregnant and unmarried. The birthfather of my child (who I had dated for three years) immediately turned his back on me. Even now, after my son and I have reunited, he still refuses to acknowledge his existance. Homes for unwed mothers appeared "nice" on the outside, but once inside you were only allowed to use first names (sometimes fictious) and never could you speak about keeping your baby. We were continually told that we would soon forget this bad experience. Forget? How can you forget your own child?? Since I had no money, I worked as a nanny/housekeeper for two different families until six weeks before my baby was born to help cover my medical expenses (no, the adoptive families didn't help out on this). The first family I worked for were "A-typical" of society in the 60's - meaning I was a "bad" girl and they were doing me a huge favor by letting me work for them. One morning as I was getting breakfast ready to put on the table, the "lady" of the house turned to her two young sons, that were 12 and 13 years old, and said, "Take a good look at Stephanie and remember how she looks because that's what happens when boys don't keep their pants zipped up." All I could do was turn my back and finish dishing up breakfast as tears streamed down my face. I was 19 years old and my world was collapsing around me. I loved my baby and didn't want to relinquish him, he was an innocent in all of this, but with no money and parents who said I couldn't bring him home what else could I do? In those days there were no "social services" to help out, you were on your own. Society was not forgiving when it came to unwed mothers (not single monthers, but "unwed") and illegimate children were treated as lepers. Love child - Diana Ross said it best in her song. My parents did everything they could to keep my pregnancy a secret from neighbors and family. Occasionally I got to come home to visit my family on Sundays. My mother would pick me up and when we got to the house, she would make me wait to get out of the car until she drove in the garage and shut the garage door. After I reunited with my son, I shared my good news with all my aunts and cousins - I was sure that my mother had told them long ago - wrong. They were all supportive and their first question was - why didn't you come to me when you were pregnant? I would have helped you keep the baby. I was grateful for their love and support, but would they really have helped me 38 years ago? My only real regret in reuniting with my son is that my mother never had a chance to meet him. She passed away in 1979. Mom came to the hospital when my son was born to see him. I know in her heart she loved him, but she thought she was doing what was best for me and for him at the time. My father, who was adamant at the time that I give my son up for adoption did meet my son. My son had a chance to know his grandfather for three years before he passed away. My son went to visit his grandfather in the hospital a week before he passed away. As he was leaving, my son said, "Take care Wally, I love you and I'll see you soon." My dad, turned his head, and with a big smile on his face said, "Hey, it's GRANDPA to you son and don't you ever forget it!" I have realize that time does heal all wounds, but sometimes time has a way of standing still before it up and marches on. To all my sisters who are "The Girls Who Went Away" you are in my prayers. If you have been reunited with your child, congratulations! If you are still searching, don't give up - God answers prayers everyday.

I have just mailed your book to my birth daughter so she will have some idea of who I really am. This book has done for me something no amount of time has been able to achieve...the knowledge that I am not alone. It took me months to finish the book, even though I read bits of it almost daily, When I was done. the feeling of loss was horrible...I felt a true bonding to each and every one of those "girls". My feelings were at last legitimatized and there really are people who understand the obsessions we have had to accept. Thank you for my personal counselor. I am off to purchase a replacement book so my "friends" will always be close at hand. I am a better person for your endeavor.

Alanagh@charter.net - I am so pleased that Ann's book has been helpful to you. Many birth moms have been helped by her book. They understand that they are not alone.