Some people believe that all adoptees who search are weak, unhappy or possess other equally negative attitudes and qualities. Certainly, this could be the case for some searchers. There are some adoptees who search that long for their birth families due to a lack of connection or dissatisfaction with their adoptive families.

Other adoptees who grew up in abusive, dysfunctional families might be tempted to look for another family who might love them and treat them better. They might have fantasy ideas about their birth family.

I believe that some adoptees might specifically not want to search as they perceive searching to be a sign of discontent or unhappiness. They may not want to appear ungrateful or unappreciative of their adoptive families.

In my experience, the vast majority of adoptees who decide to search for birth family are not dysfunctional, weak, or miserable individuals. Most adoptees who search seem fairly content with their lives and have good adoptive families. Few searchers are looking for a replacement family, but, many want to include their birth families into their life.

Some searchers may feel a void as though something is missing in their life. However, that does not mean that they are unhappy misfits. It is possible to have adoption related issues (or any issues) and still lead a full, productive life.

Deciding to embark on a search is a scary and unknown entity. There are no guarantees, and the results of a search can vary a great deal. People who are weak, etc. may not have the self-esteem or courage to handle the risks and uncertainties of a search.

I tend to agree with another theory about who searches. I believe that people who search are braver and more adventuresome than non-searchers. Searchers are curious risk takers with confidence in their ability to handle whatever they find. They mostly comprehend how varied their results may be; but they plunge ahead anyway.

The need to know your family of origin seems very natural and primal to me. It takes courage and determination to search and to attempt a reunion. Searching and attempting reunion are risky propositions. Only those brave enough to be open to the possibilities, and put their hearts on the line will usually take the risk.