Comments on: Shifting Priorities – Part 2 http://birthfamily-search.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/shifting-priorities-part-2 Information for those searching for those who have been adopted or their birth families. Tue, 09 Mar 2010 03:16:07 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Heather Lowe http://birthfamily-search.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/shifting-priorities-part-2/comment-page-1#comment-1 Heather Lowe Tue, 11 Jul 2006 18:56:54 +0000 http://adoption-sea.www.adoptionblogs.com/2006/07/11/shifting-priorities-part-2#comment-1 "Some did. Others were so destroyed by the loss of their child that many of their dreams fell by the wayside. The loss of their child was so much harder than they imagined."<br /> <br /> Yep. This is a point I wish more women understood: giving up your child by no means ensures that you will automatically be free to achieve your pre-pregnancy goals. Plenty of women do self-destruct after surrender, as you point out. Others just find that their previous goals are no longer as important to them. Still others go on to achieve what they had wanted, but aren't exactly glad that they had to give up a child to do so. These women wonder, "did I really need to give up my baby to achieve (insert goal here)?"<br /> <br /> The main point is, giving birth changes you forever, whether you raise your child or not. You can't expect that you'll be the same person afterward just by giving up your baby. “Some did. Others were so destroyed by the loss of their child that many of their dreams fell by the wayside. The loss of their child was so much harder than they imagined.”

Yep. This is a point I wish more women understood: giving up your child by no means ensures that you will automatically be free to achieve your pre-pregnancy goals. Plenty of women do self-destruct after surrender, as you point out. Others just find that their previous goals are no longer as important to them. Still others go on to achieve what they had wanted, but aren’t exactly glad that they had to give up a child to do so. These women wonder, “did I really need to give up my baby to achieve (insert goal here)?”

The main point is, giving birth changes you forever, whether you raise your child or not. You can’t expect that you’ll be the same person afterward just by giving up your baby.

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