Yes, Sarah, what you said about "something missing" is completely normal……

I'm doing this by myself; I don't want my adoptive parents involved at all. We haven't always had the best relationship and things are going well right now, and I don't want to mess anything up. I've waited to turn 18 all of my life so I could do this. There is something that has been missing from me always, and I need it to be fulfilled - does that make any sense?

The first line above is how I will begin my response to Sarah. I want her to know that her feeling that “something is missing” is not uncommon. Sarah is an 18-year old who found a post at adoption.com that I wrote months ago. Before blogging became my consuming passion, I posted at the forums often. I do not know which post she read of mine, but I had mentioned that my son found me and that it was a good experience for me.

Her thoughts are typical. In her first email, she said that she is worried that her birth mom may not want to be found. In this second one, she worries about how her adoptive parents will feel about her search. She also mentions a common feeling of “something has been missing from me always” and that she “waited to turn 18 all of my life”. Not all adoptees as young as she is express these sentiments, but some do. Many adoptees who want to search have solid relationships with their adoptive parents. I wonder if because she does not, that spurs her on to search even earlier than the norm? I do not know.

Now that she is about to embark on a search for her birth mom, she is reaching out for some understanding and help….and she picked me. Oddly enough, she didn’t know when she emailed me that I blog about search and reunion and know a fair amount about it. She only knew that I am reunited and happy with our reunion.



To Be Continued........................................