A colleague in Maryland wrote to me the other day bubbling over with excitement at a find made by her search and support group. Based on the adoptive mom’s recollections of a slip of the lip, and non-id information supplied by the attorney who handled the adoption, the group was able to identify the missing birth mother in less than the two hours that they spend together once a month. They found the birth grandfather, too.

It took a couple days to update the information and to identify and verify the woman’s married name but, within two days, my colleague was on the phone with the woman at the request of the searching family. The birth mother, now living in Virginia, was thrilled to be “found.”

Because my colleague lives in a small town, she had crossed paths with the principals many times and they soon discovered that they had a number of friends and acquaintances in common. The adoptee attends the same college where my colleague teaches. It also turned out that the birth mother had always known where her daughter was and that she had watched from a discreet distance, following her growing up years, eager to have contact all these years. She was just biding her time until her daughter was 21.

Because the adoptee was not yet 21 – only a few months shy – the state confidential intermediary program would not help to reunite the two women. The adoptive parents’ lawyer were bound by the court order even though the birth mother had been in touch with him many times over the years and he knew she would welcome contact. Luckily, his partner knew about the search and support group and put his clients in touch with my colleague. Her search and support group is only about six months old and this is their second find. Needless to say, they are all thrilled! I can’t wait to read a first-hand account of the reunion.