Triad members are often amazed at the similarities that they share between them or the opposite can happen where they are very different with little common ground. The adoptee may physically resemble the natural parent. This can be something that is very important to the adoptee. Often times this is the first family connection that they meet that has a physical resemblance.

All involved in reunion bring with them their own personal fantasies about the other person and expectations. The reunion can go better than expected or leave much to be desired. Either way, what is important is that the reality replaces the fantasy so that the fantasy doesn’t create obstacles.

The expectations for the triad members in reunion may be different for each and it is important to be clear and honest about what each needs or does not need and what feels comfortable or not Some may expect reunion to be an opportunity to establish a deep relationship where others might want to exchange information and connect once or twice a year. If you are upfront with each other can help you to avoid misunderstanding and disappointment. One way to avoid the misunderstanding and disappointment is to not make commitments or promises early on that you may later regret and cause disappointment.

You have been in touch with adoption search and support groups, read the blogs or forums here at adoption.com it is likely that you have heard reunion being referred to as an emotional roller coaster. Reunion does bring up a lot of intense feelings from the past and the euphoria of having found each other can be replaced by feelings of sadness and loss.

We have talked previously about the stages of reunion and how there can be a honeymoon period in reunion relationships. This is a feeling similar to the falling in love period at the beginning of romantic relationships when everything seems magical and wonderful.