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Living near a large metropolitan area, I had great options for support from other triad members. Not everyone is as fortunate in that respect. In our area, not only is there a local CUB Chapter, but, several triad therapists. These therapists come from every part of the triad.
Although there is at least one birth mom therapist in my area, I did not find out about her until much later. The adoptee therapist recommended to me also had a small adoption therapy group which held its meetings in the small town I live in. I joined the therapy group and had weekly sessions with my therapist and spent most of that first year of reunion meeting with her.
At one point during that first year, my son and I talked about how helpful my therapy was to me. I made a comment about if he thought I was a mess with therapy, imagine what I would be like without it. He laughed and made a crack about it was hard to imagine.
My therapist’s insights as an adoptee were invaluable to me, and I might have mucked up our relationship up royally without her wise counsel. Some of the lessons that I learned from her, I tend to repeat to others as they were so helpful to me.
Here are some of the lessons I learned from my therapist:
1) If an issue with your birth family is troubling you go ahead write to them about it, but think carefully how it might affect them prior to actually sending it to them. Dramatic person that I am, I fired off many emails to you son, and a few letters as well. We emailed fast and furiously in the beginning of our reunion. Sometimes I know that I overwhelmed my son, and my therapist helped me control that issue.
