Taking the time for you as an adoptee to go through a decision making process that involves your own thoughts does not make you a selfish spoiled person. It is also okay to think about the spiritual aspects of your placement.

For some your religious identify may be an important part of who you are. For those who have strong religious faith and who identify with that faith there can be some powerful thoughts in the process of rediscovery.

I was the searcher and honestly can say if the tables were reversed I would have mixed feelings about being found which would have nothing to do with my faith but the thought of being introduced to an entire new family would have been very overwhelming for me at certain points in my life.

When I searched it was in hopes of finding my natural mother. I had no idea of her personal circumstances or whether or not I would find out information during the course of my search. However, it is important to not make snap judgments about who the person is inside and what motivates them. As an example, if adoptive parents are wealthy it doesn’t make someone a selfish spoiled person. I personally would like to think that when my natural mother relinquished me to adoption here thoughts were that I would be placed with people that not only loved me but could provide a good life for me financially. So, if you are a natural parent, I don’t know if it should be such a surprise to find that the adoptee was raised in a family that had more than just love to give.

There are some adoptive mothers have some issues with their children being found so it is important to have a greater understanding that this might be the possibility when you are doing your search.