For some, when there adoption search is completed, they find rejection. Rejection can feel like a knife in the heart. It can feel like the end of a dream or that the rug has been pulled out from under you or that it was all for nothing. It is important to remember that much good has come from the experience and that you have found the truth.

When someone is faced with rejection, I think it is human nature to react. The person being rejected may give away their own power, or buy into the perceptions of other people and their ability to clearly see the situation for what it really is becomes clouded.

Moving forward is important to know what questions to ask yourself and how to use the answers. Some of the questions that I think are critical are:

• Is this a totally closed door or is it possible for you to have some of your questions answered?
• Is this a permanently closed door or does the person need more time?
• From “their” point of view, why are they unwilling or unable to move into a relationship?
• What are you making this rejection mean about you?

By answering the first two questions will help you to decide how or if you can proceed with establishing more contact. More importantly the answers to the last two questions are where you can find compassion and peace to accept the situation.

Rejection is something that none of us hope for but it can be used as a catalyst for personal change and self acceptance. Searching for another is a search for self and that can be completed with or without a happily ever after ending.

You can get through the issues that come with rejection and it is possible for you to turn a painful rejection into self knowledge, healing, and peace in your life.