For some women, it only takes one of the many reasons mentioned in part 1 to decide to relinquish, or to be pressured into doing so. Some people attach enough significance to two-parent families, that factor alone may cause a relinquishment. Other women may have several factors that play a part in their decision (or the decision of the authority figures who make their decision for them).

There are plenty of seemingly plausible and sensible reasons for a woman to relinquish, but, what does it really take for a woman to be emotionally able to do so? I believe that denial, self-doubt and lack of support play a large part in most relinquishments. Many women in crisis pregnancies are so overwhelmed by the decision facing them, that they live in denial. Reality is often too difficult to face. Therefore, they deny their feelings for their child, deny that it will hurt to lose their child, deny that it matters, etc.

Most women who choose the adoption alternative do so because they love their babies dearly and do not believe that they are capable (at that time) of giving their babies all that they want for them. Sometimes that may be the case. Often, however, women rise to the occasion and even though a baby is unplanned, they learn to become good parents.

Some women chose relinquishment because at first glance it may seem the "easier" solution. If they fear that they might be unable to parent well, they may believe it isn't fair to their child to try parenting. However, what many women who relinquish do not understand is that it is natural for parents to doubt their parenting abilities.

New parents can find ways to learn how to parent well. Parenting classes are available and mentors within their community may be able to help provide support to new parents as well.

To Be Continued.......................................