Many adoptees make first contact with their natural mother by telephone. Some natural mothers may be aware that someone was trying to locate her if contact was initially made through another natural family member such as a cousin or sister. When placing that first call to your natural mother you may not be sure what to expect. You may be shocked that your natural mother thought you were someone else and your birth name or information may be enough to bring on a receptive though guarded response.

Some natural mothers may be distant and unwilling to answer your questions. That can be very disappointing. However, if she agrees to share letters you may be pleased by also feel sorry that her response wasn’t more joyous. As and adoptee, try to give her response some time and you may discover that her heart is open to you as yours was to her. You may learn that her initial response to you was unfounded.

Some adoptees don’t call or make contact with their natural mother when they learn her current contact information. They may feel it is too soon for them. You may need to take time to prepare yourself for that first initial contact.

Making contact can be a very scary thing that you will ever have to do. You hear will bang and you may feel like you have separated from yourself when you pick up the phone and dial the numbers. You may come back to earth as soon as you hear your natural mother’s voice on the other end of the phone. Some natural mothers break into tears when they realize who they are talking with. They may have always thought this would happen and may invite you to visit immediately. Your natural mother may ask questions like how tall are you or the color of your hair. She may ask if you are married and whether or not you are working. You may feel connected with your natural mother by her sense of humor. You may agree to a visit and set a date and exchange letters and photographs.

If your natural mother is from a small town, during your search you may come across some individuals who know your natural mother, and they even may know all about the adoption. They may even have a current phone number for your natural mother or other natural family member.