Since my son's other mother(his adoptive mom) lives several states away, we have only met once so far. Our first meeting took place 2-3 years ago. The details of our meeting are vivid in my mind.

Although I appeared calm, inside I was a wreck on the day of our visit. I wanted to meet her alone, so we agreed that I would drive to her home and then walk into town for lunch. The thought of seeing her with our son was not something I was ready to face yet; I thought it would wound me to the core. I knew that they were close and I felt that seeing their closeness would be too painful.

For me, it was very important to make a good impression; I wanted her to like me. For a year or so, we had been emailing and knew a great deal about each other. That fact helped a great deal. As I dressed for our meeting, I fretted over what to wear. I finally decided on casual slacks, a top and my leather jacket.

Driving a rental car,I made it to the small town that she lives in with plenty of time to spare. As a goodwill gesture, I decided to bring her flowers, so I stopped in the local florist. While I browsed around looking at flowers and plants, the florist offered to help me pick something out. She asked what the occasion was. "I am meeting my son's adoptive mom for the first time," I said.

Fortunately, she did not recoil in horror or slither away. In fact, she smiled and was very kind and helpful. "Flowers, definitely," she said. The florist sounded so confident, you would have thought that people came in every day buying flowers for such an occasion. Actually, I probably was the first person ever - remember, the town is very small.

Since roses are a favorite of mine, I decided that they would do. Besides, the shop had some very wonderful roses in several unusual colors including multi-colored ones. I picked some out and was told to come back in a few minutes while they wrapped them up.