This photo doesn't look anything like what I figured Pandora's Box might look like, but that's what it was entitled, so I will trust the photographer. "Pandora's Box" - even as educated as many have become about adoption reunions, we still have a long far to go in educating people about adoption search and reunions.

Adoptees still receive the "Pandora's Box" reference when they mention that they are considering a search. "Why would you want to open all that up?" people ask them. I know that I was as guilty as anyone taking alot for granted. To know where my blonde hair came from, my thin genes, my spirit of adventure came from and many other details, I could always look to my parents or my siblings.

I never had to wonder why I was with the parents who raised me or about another set of parents. As for whether the mother who gave birth to me loved me or not, I took that for granted. I was her child, and she loved children. Of course she loved me, even though as she once told me I was not "planned".

Growing up, I knew that I had one brother and one sister; we grew up together. Never did I spent any time pondering if I had other siblings - somewhere. Life was simple, I knew my brother and sister.

Nor did I hesitate about family history when I went to the doctor. I never had to say that I did not know. I knew about my parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles' medical history.

When you grow up adopted, especially in a closed adoption, you may not know any of those things, and more. For some adoptees, they may have early periods of time that they do not even know who took care of them.

In getting to know adoptees, I have found that all those things can potentially be very troubling. The "need to know" is powerful...and yet many people still ask why...."Why do you need to know?" The simple answer is that knowing is important, and it matters.