There are a number of positive ways for natural mothers to cope with the adoption experience. If you aren’t already, you may want to attend an adoption support group meetings, conferences, go to counseling, search for your child, and communicate with other natural parents.
There are several national natural parent support organizations such as the American Adoption Congress, Concerned United Birthparents (CUB), Birth Mothers of Minors (BMOMS) in NY city and Birthparents in the Open in Santa Cruz, CA.

No matter what support group you contact and become a part of they all have the same purpose which is to offer comfort, sympathy, and an opportunity to talk with others and exchange information. A support group is truly one of the only places where everyone understands the natural parents point of view and people express their feelings openly. In the support group setting you can tell your story as well as hear about other people’s experiences. For many attending a support group helps them to not feel so alone.

Some of the national organizations host national conferences. A conference is an opportunity to get support and information from a larger group of people. Some conferences focus on political or policy issues and some cover a wide range of topics designed to help triad members cope with their adoption experience. At conferences you will hear speakers with national reputations and you are sitting in a large room filled with other triad members. Unfortunately, there are usually few natural fathers there but there are always a few.

Counseling is another option to help the natural mother cope with the adoption experience. A counselor who is knowledgeable about adoption issue can be very helpful. An experienced therapist can help you to untangle which of your issues are adoption related and which are adjustment issues that many people in your stage of life go through. The therapist can help you also work through self esteem or parenting issues. The therapist can also help you to decide whether or not to search for your child. The therapist can also help you to sort through the various emotions that an outcome of the search can lead.