When I refer to Amnesia I am referring to the loss of memory that is a result of a traumatic event. There are two types of amnesia. The first is a loss of memory that occurs before the time of the event and the second is a loss of memory that occurs after the time of the event.

Some natural mothers experience amnesia around certain aspects of the adoption experience such as date of birth, hospital, birthing details and events, places and significant people at that time in their lives.

Natural mothers were not prepared for the aftermath of surrendering their baby to adoption. They were told by the adoption professionals involved that it would be over soon and that they would forget the experience, go on with their life and have more children. This was not the case for many if not almost all of the natural mothers. In all of my years of being involved in the adoption community I remember meeting one natural mother who could not remember the details of her adoption experience.

There are some in the adoption community that view the handful of natural mothers who have experienced amnesia as all is well with adoption and the natural mothers have indeed forgotten what had been done to her. The truth of the matter is that these natural mothers had not been silenced by stigma and guilt but rather is a result of an attempted adaptation to an unbearable loss and is a way to survive the trauma.

There are some natural mothers who can not recall the details of their experience yet would like to initiate a search. Many have a general idea of the date that they gave birth but aren’t sure of the exact day of birth. This can make it very difficult to initiate a search or confirm a match on a registry if most of the information matches.