Many triad members will say that they were the closest to their new found family member the first day they were together. This day may be an entire day or evening together looking at pictures and discussing the family the adoptee was born into but never knew.

As time goes on the natural mother may feel as if there is too much connected with relinquishing her child to adoption and for many natural mothers to difficult to face. This may result in a superficial relationship where cards are sent to one another several times a year.

Some triad members have described their initial face to face as euphoric. Each reunion member may feel proud of the other and themselves. The good feelings many times overwhelm the bad. Some still have this euphoria many years later. Some will attend adoption conferences together. Often times a lot of difficult and painful information is disclosed by the natural mother. These disclosures may be in bits and pieces or sometimes in huge chunks. Many times siblings, cousins, aunts, and other extended family members are met. For as wonderful this all is there still can be anxiety too.. The adoptee may be afraid of losing their natural family again. You may discover that all of your natural family is real people, just like you with real problems that won’t vanish into happily ever after. You may feel that a fairytale is turning into reality and feel good about onward with reality. Relationships change through the ups and downs. It takes a lot of effort to keep it going and for most is something that you want very much.

Others have described reunion as a tense and exciting time. You may feel that you both need information about one another fast. You may overnight photographs to one another before you meet face to face. Letters may be exchanged frequently and phone conversations often. Through the phone you may feel out where each of your needs are and try to meet those needs. One may feel very much in control and able to set limits and pull back when necessary. The other may respect the need for space to assimilate the information received into definition of yourself. The letters written may become invaluable as they can be an outlet and avenue for the examination of your feelings. Letters can be saved and re read even years later. Letters may eventually stop but they have given way to visits and a general feeling of belonging. Some enjoy spending the adoptees birthday together. Both may feel blessed to have the love and acceptance of not only each other but also the siblings who have welcomed the adoptee into their lives without expectation or reservation.

Some may feel that each is being on good behavior maybe because they are both afraid of rejection. Neither may put demands on the relations. If there are miles between the triad members getting acquainted can be more difficult but over time will become more relaxed with one another. You may eventually get to a point where you can pretty much say anything and can even tease or joke with one another.

Some triad members may come to a point in their reunion where they barely see one another. You may feel as if you have tried to be open and friendly. One may remain friendly but evasive or you may see each other once in a while or you may talk weekly and see each other on a regular basis.