What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.

- William Shakespeare

Names and labels are a hot topic in adoption. Many adoption bloggers have addressed the issue of whether children should be given new names if they already have names at the time of adoption. But, what about names in relation to search and reunion?

Adoptees searching often have a desire to know if they were named at birth. Finding a birth name during a search often seems to be an exciting, but, sometimes also a somewhat odd feeling for an adoptee. Some adoptees seem disappointed to find that they were not named at birth. I try to emphasize, however, that many of us birth moms either did not know that we could name our babies or were discouraged from doing so.

Likewise, for a birth mom who named her child, discovering that their child now has another name must be somewhat disconcerting. I know several birth moms who did name their children. Some understood that their children would be renamed. Others were promised that the child would retain all or part of that original name. The promise was honored at times, and in other cases, it was not.

For some birth moms, using their children's adoptive name is very difficult at reunion. These women had thought of their children by the names that they chose for them, and clung to those names. I can only imagine how difficult it would be to suddenly switch gears and be expected to call your child a different name. Some birth mothers make the transition better than others. Many factors are involved.

If a child was not adopted as a newborn, but, later, I imagine that the change in name would be especially difficult for a birth mom. For some birth mothers in this situation, they may have been told or expected that their child's name would not be changed. To find later that their child’s name was changed might seem a betrayal that could be hard to accept.

To Be Continued.....................................