Not to much has been said here about birth fathers. I believe my blogging buddy touched on it yesterday and thought I would share a little with you about my birth father. For me my birth father is someone that I will probably never know. I have tried to find him but with the lack of information and knowledge it makes it very difficult. My sister and I have talked with everyone that we possibly could think of and no one seems to know. I have had some solid leads but none of them ever panned out.
The first lead we had was when my sister talked with her dad about my existence. When he met me for the first time, he acknowledged that there was a possibility that he could be my birth father. We went through DNA testing and the results showed that he was not.
Several years later I tried again. I had tracked down friends that my birth mother went to school with using photographs that were shared with me by my birth mothers family. One day, I received a call from a woman that claimed she was best friends with my birth mother until she died and she didn’t know of my existence. At any rate, she gave me a mans name that could possibly be my birth father. To keep a long story short, he had passed away 3 months earlier. I obtained the obituary and contacted one of his three daughters that happened to live ½ hour away from me. We talked until wee hours of the morning and less than 48 hours later we had met.
After our meeting, we both believed that we were sisters. The physical resemblance of myself in her family was noticeable. We both needed something more concrete so we decided to go through DNA testing. Once again, the results were that she and I were not sisters which meant her father is not my birth father.
After that day, I let it go. I haven’t pursued trying to locate him. The doors are open in the event that he would like to find me if he even knows about me.
I have though about my birth mother and the circumstances surrounding why she surrendered me to adoption. Society was different in 1970 and being a single mother was frowned upon. There are times that I am not so sure whether or not she knew who my birth father was. If she did, she took that information to the grave with her. He might not even know for that matter. In my mind, I know that I have exhausted all possible avenues for locating him. My original birth certificate lists him as unknown as well as al the court records. When I read her testimony in court, she stated that she didn’t know who he is. Grant you that birth mothers of that era or advised to not name or list the birth father even if they did know so any reliable conclusions really can’t be made.
I have come to accept that I will not know my birth father and that if it is meant to be, he will find his way to me.