My husband and I were staying in a cottage nearby and had driven over to check out the town the day before. Checking the town out the day before our meeting was a really good idea, as that first time in the town that my son grew up in was an unexpected and extremely emotional experience. I was surprised at how difficult it was for me.

Time was passing and it was time to pick up the roses. They looked great and I was ready to find her house. It was then I discovered that I had left the directions back at the cottage. I wanted to panic and cry, yet it was important not to mess this visit up. My cell had no reception, so I could not call my husband. Luckily, my rental car had a navigational system, and I knew her address from having written to her. Somehow I found her home.

As I knocked on the door, I felt so many emotions churning around, but I was fairly calm. When she opened the door, she was very gracious and cooed appreciatively at the roses. We hugged each other. So far, so good. Although she had seen photos of me by then, she seemed floored that I looked so much like our son. Her surprise was evident and she commented on how much we looked alike.

As she put the roses in a vase, we chatted some and then began walking down the hill towards town for lunch. As we passed a house about four doors down from hers, she mentioned that it was the house where Chris and his brother and sister had grown up. Although I did not visibly react much,I was in awe of seeing the house where he had grown up. Passing by the house where my son was raised was an emotional moment for me.

Our visit was unusual and strange in a way, yet it was also warm and comfortable. After lunch, we walked back up to her house and sat outside near her garden and chatted for awhile. Oddly enough, we talked about all the things people usually chat about and little about our son. We chatted as friends.

On that first visit, we did not look at photos. She did not offer; I did not ask mainly because I felt I would have been too emotional and did not want that. We did not talk about my son's adoption and how she happened to adopt him. There is so much that I would love to know, but probably never will. That is okay. Maybe our next visit I will be stronger and ready for more - maybe she will too.