There are times that I become impatient when I hear opinions about adoption that I now consider undated and false. However, I try to catch myself and remember that I was guilty of believing most of the inaccurate and totally false ideas about adoption myself. When my son found me, all I knew about reunion, other than having relinquished a child myself, I learned from the media. And that wasn't much!

Since I was so mired in denial prior to reunion, I never sought out any information about adoption. Therefore, at the time I was found, I had not read a single adoption book, or ventured onto an adoption site. You should see the library of adoption books I have now!

My fairy tale views on adoption were pieced together from newspaper headline stories and television movies. Until my own reunion, I had no contact with anyone involved in adoption, that I knew of at least, except for a friend who was an adoptive mom.

Therefore, many of the ideas that I fervently believe now were inspired after educating myself about adoption after my son and I were reunited. This is probably not uncommon. Many reunited birth parents become very involved in educating themselves. My beliefs evolved as I came out of denial and allowed myself to stop denying that my son's loss mattered a great deal.

Many of my beliefs evolved from getting to know other triad members, attending conferences and reading books by adoption experts that I trust and admire. Therefore, now, I feel somewhat educated and enlightened about adoption issues. There's still plenty that I do not know, and I realize that I can never know it all. I also understand that there are many differing opinions about certain aspects of adoption as well. In actuality, there is very little that everyone agrees on.

However, some of the "old" ideas have changed, and more will change in the future. I try to focus on that part of adoption which is of greatest interest to me. It is the area that I believe needs the most reform.

To Be Continued....................................