It is my understanding that most maternity homes that existed in the closed adoption era did not instruct about pregnancy, labor, delivery, and were left totally alone during labor and delivery and were not allowed contact with the new mothers, were not provided information about welfare and aid to families with dependent children, child support and other government programs if they existed at the time.

Girls forced to live in maternity homes were in some cases made to use ficticious names or first names and last initials only. They allowed no contact with friends and boy friends by letter, phone or in person and they were kept away from everything familiar and made to follow strict daily routines.

Some maternity homes took away money and were not permitted personal clothing or were not allowed the freedom to come and go. Some removed everything that would remind them of who they were.

Natural mothers were referred to as “neurotic” if they said no to relinquishing and were told that they are out of touch with reality and selfish if they kept their babies and the pregnancy was proof of unfitness.

Often times the girls residing in maternity homes during this time were allowed no television, phone, visitations or radio privileges. If the rules weren’t followed they would be subjected to scolding and de-meaning lectures for disagreeing; harangued when speaking up against counseling which was the reasons why they should choose adoption, and they would be praised for agreeing to surrender to adoption.

The maternity home directors, caseworkers, and house mothers enforced strict rules and a rigid schedule: wake up, bedtime, meals, chores, and approved visitations, censored mail (both incoming and outgoing), no legal counsel and no support system.

In many cases the girls parents sought out advice from local churches that directed them to church affiliated or county adoption agencies. These agencies usually referred the parents to maternity homes. Parents felt protected and relieved with the idea of a maternity home. If their daughter disappeared the problem disappeared with her.

There are some girls who wanted to keep their babies and were warned severely by social workers that if they did so they would be responsible for paying the entire hospital bill, doctor fees, lawyer fees and the costs of foster care.

When the girls returned home they felt the absence of their baby. They were alone, there arms were empty and they grieved for the child they lost. No one ever spoke of the baby again and no one acknowledge the pain and loneliness experienced and no one offered comfort. They knew they couldn’t speak of what took place and they were so shamed and blamed that they obeyed what others had told them.

For me, the situations I described were difficult to conceptualize what it was like when these babies from the closed adoption era, including myself, were born and taken away from their natural mothers because they were too young, vulnerable, unmarried, and/or without resources. I guess it is because today we live in a society that values and enforces an individuals’ civil and human rights