Although I have discussed making the decision to search in general, there are some different issues for birth parents who are considering a search. People seem to understand better why birth parents might want to search.

However, in general, I do not believe that people feel that birth parents are as entitled to search as adoptees. I have often heard people say that adoptees should be the ones to search. Even some adoptees say that they believe that they do not believe that birth parents should search.

However, I have also heard many adoptees say that they wish that their birth parents had searched. Until I was found and reunited, I assumed that a search would not be possible or wise. Now that I understand that many adoptees want their birth parents to search, I wholly endorse the idea.

Birth parents do need to keep in mind that their child might not be ready for a reunion. If this is the case, they need to be prepared to wait and hope for a change of heart. Some adoptees say that they are not interested in a search and/or meeting birth family. They might or might not change their minds.

However, I consider a search giving the other party a change for information and/or a reunion if they so desire. In my mind, a search is an offer to the other party to provide them information and possibly a relationship. It is a generous gift and an opportunity.

Obviously, not everyone believes as I do, however, if a birth parent does not want a reunion they can and will say so. I do know a few adoptees whose birth parents are reluctant to reunite. There are a wide variety of reasons why birth parents may not want a reunion, but nearly all those reasons are based on various fears.

Although I think it is wise to understand going into a search that your child may not be ready, I believe that birth parents have every right to search. Unless a birth parent is a danger to a child, I see no reason why contact should be completely forbidden in the first place.