Making Contact Part 2

The second option of first contact is via letter. The issue I see with writing a letter is there is an agonizing wait for a reply. There is no instant gratification but if you choose this option you should keep the following in mind:

1) Send the letter certified and registered, return receipt requested, requiring only the signature and ID of the person you intend the letter to be for. You should make sure it says “Forwarding Address Requested” so you can find out where they moved if they have moved within the past year. By sending the letter this way, you are protecting the person’s privacy and it also gives you an idea of when they received the letter. On the flip side, it can also alert other family members that a strange letter has arrived.

2) Keep the letter short, real, and give the person you are contacting a reason to be curious. You may want to include a photo of yourself in the event it may spark recognition and reinforce you are a human being.

3) Be patient and know that it may take some time for a response. Mail can be lost or the person you are contacting may not respond immediately because they are not ready to deal with contact at the current time.

The third option is to have a third party make contact on your behalf. This is an option for those who are uncomfortable making contact themselves. This type of contact requires absolute trust for the person making the contact as well as a willingness to accept that the person you select may be the only person who has contact with your birth family member.

The third party you choose should have experience in making contact on the behalf of others. They should also respect the wishes of the person who is searching and listen to their preferences. A discussion should take place prior to contact over what should be done in whatever scenario that happens as well as discussing the risks and benefits involved using a third party.

There are no guarantees and initial contact is the most scary thing you will attempt but you will never know what you will find unless you try.

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