Recently, my older son called, and as usual our conversation was peppered with warmth, ease and just plain fun. He has the same easy sense of humor that both his birth dad and I have. When we talk, he often has me giggling at some outrageously funny comment that he has made.

During our recent conversation, we discussed privacy issues for birth parents. I had related the story to him about my recent small part in facilitating a reunion. I made an initial call to a man that we thought might be my friend's birth dad and that brought up the privacy issue. As we discussed the subject, I mentioned that I do not believe that birth parents have a right to remain anonymous from their own children. My son mentioned that he has some female friends who placed children for adoption. "But, they had a choice though," (as to remaining anonymous or not), he said. "Not like you, you did not want that, right?"

I quickly assured him that I did not. We have discussed the fact that I deeply regret having relinquished him to adoption - he finally knows that I loved and wanted him. His comment also indicates that he knows that too that if there had been a choice, I would not have chosen for him never to have known me. It pleases me that he knows how I feel about him.

Birth parent "privacy" and being protected from our children; I do not believe in the concept. I even mentioned to my son during this conversation that I wrote an article on the very subject. "I'm sure, you did," he quipped, "I bet you have written several."

I do not have all the answers as to what my son wants or needs from me - or what any adoptee does. He may not have needed many answers from me, but, I needed to provide them anyway, and I have. I know that for some adoptees honest answers to tough questions is very important to them. However, I feel comfortable knowing that he at least knows that I offer him unconditional love. If he needs me, I will be here, no matter what, and he knows that too.