Children of adoption have two mothers. I repeat that statement often. At times I wonder if I am trying to convince myself or others of that fact. Originally, I probably was trying to get that fact to register in my own mind. Now, I believe it with all my heart. I also firmly believe that knowing both moms can be positive for an adopted person in most cases. Even if an adoption is a closed one, and children never meet or learn much about the mother who gave birth to them, she is still one of their mothers.

The son that I gave birth to, who became a child of adoption, does "know" me now. We have had nearly 5 years now to get to know one another. I think he feels fairly certain that he truly knows me by now. He has an uncanny knack of picking out birthday cards that seem especially appropriate for me personally. In so many ways, I believe he understands my likes and dislikes, my loves and passions.

He also knows and understands the parts of himself that probably come from me. Since he has not yet had much contact with his birth dad, he can discern less traits to attribute to him. And, of course, the nature vs. nurture debate makes it impossible to really know how much of who he is comes from genetics and how much from environment.

There are certain traits, likes and dislikes, and physical characteristics though, that seem quite obviously to have been my legacy to him though. The most obvious sameness between my son and I is our mutual passion for travel and adventure. He is bold and thrill-seeking just like me and lives life to the fullest. Maybe his adoptive parents are like that too, but, I like to think he inherited that love of life and excitement from me.

Physically, birth dad is more the winner - both he and my son are the same height, fair skinned and blonde. Ah hah, I did contribute the thin gene to my son though! Birth Dad definitely gets no credit for our son's fit physique.
Even if an adoption is a closed one, and children never meet or learn much about the mother who gave birth to them, she does exist.

The son that I gave birth to, who became a child of adoption does "know" me now. We have had nearly 5 years now to get to know one another. I think he feels fairly certain that he truly knows me by now. He has an uncanny knack of picking out birthday cards that seem especially appropriate for me personally. In so many ways, I believe he understands my likes and dislikes, my loves and passions.

He also knows and understands the parts of himself that probably come from me. Since he has not yet had much contact with his birth dad, he can discern less traits to attribute to him. And, of course, the nature vs. nurture debate makes it impossible to really know how much of who he is comes from genetics and how much from environment.

There are certain traits, likes and dislikes, and physical characteristics though, that seem quite obviously to have been my legacy to him though. The most obvious sameness between my son and I is our mutual passion for travel and adventure. He is bold and thrill-seeking just like me and lives life to the fullest. Maybe his adoptive parents are like that too, but, I like to think he inherited that love of life and excitement from me.

Physically, birth dad is more the winner - both he and my son are the same height, brillant blue eyes, blonde hair and fair skin. The fair skin and blonde hair were inevitable I suppose since both of us have those traits. In general though, my son is the spitting image of his birth dad. Ah hah, I did contribute the thin gene to my son though! Birth Dad definitely gets no credit for our son's fit physique.