Being angry does not come naturally to me. It is in my nature to be laid back, easy doing and not let things bother me. In fact, I am best known for my smile and cheery disposition. However, I just keep hearing more adoption horror stories that make my blood boil. If I just heard an occasional one, I would believe that they were uncommon. That is not the case.

One of the latest: An adoptee recently was relating her story about having found her birth mother. She spoke to her two weeks ago and had a quite cordial conversation with her. What's wrong with that, you say? Over 10 years ago, this same young lady asked the agency to search for her birth mom. I suspect she paid them money to do so. They told her that her birth mother had been found, and did not want contact.

As she was relating her story, another adoptee nearby had to really be wondering. He had paid his money to the same agency, who did nothing for nearly a year. Finally they assigned someone to his case, and eventually they told him that they found his birth mother. He was so hopeful and excited, until they told him the same thing that the young woman had been told. That his mother too said, "No contact."

Of course, now he is wondering if they really ever contacted her. The state where he was adopted is a difficult state for a search. It is one of those states known for changing some of the details in adoption records, like the birth date, and sometimes the place of birth. His options are limited.

A searcher friend of mine also told me that this same agency often intentionally provides misleading clues to searchers. She figures it is an attempt to send them off in the wrong direction. Why do you suppose that they do these kinds of things? It makes no sense to me.