Lately I have noticed some increased awareness of how fortunate that I am in many respects. Adoption intensifies your awareness of much that non-triad members take for granted. My granddaughter often seems to make me reflect on how fortunate I am.

As I watch her smiling face and enjoy seeing her romp and play, I sometimes reflect that not all grandmothers have this chance to watch their granddaughters grow up. I have blogged as well about the fact that my crisis pregnancy with my daughter could have turned out differently as well.

Just as some mothers lose children to adoption, but other family members such as grandmothers lose them as well. Although I have been involved in all three of my grandchildren's lives, I got to spend time with my granddaughter earlier after she was born than her brothers.

When my daughter was in the hospital giving birth to her only daughter, I was at home watching her two sons so that her husband could be with her. Shortly her husband arrived back home, I went to meet my new granddaughter in the hospital. As I held her and marveled at what a perfect little being she was, I knew that moment was one of life's best gifts ever.

As I look back and recall raising my son and daughter, I sometimes think of the many birth mothers that I know who never had other children. Secondary infertility is common in the general population, but seems even more so among birth mothers. I savored raising my children, and know how blessed that I am to be their mom.

Although reunions are becoming more common, the majority of closed adoptions remain that way. I never lose sight of how fortunate that I am that my son thwarted the system and found me. To have a continuing relationship with him is not something I ever take for granted either.

All that I lost by not raising my older son does make me more acutely aware of all that I do have. I know so many triad members who have searched to find graves, rejection or a number of less than satisfactory outcomes. It has not escaped me how fortunate that I am.