Ø Know that birth families matter in the lives of their children;

Ø Understand that children of adoption have some unique issues to deal with and educate themselves to learn how best to be able to help their children;

Ø Adopt children with special needs and/or older children who may be considered by others as less adoptable;

Ø Speak of their children’s birth parents as respectfully as possible, no matter what they may be like, whether they are deserving or not;

Ø Are honest and truthful, even when the truth may be harsh or unpleasant;

Ø Understand that adopted children who search have that right;

Ø Love their children enough to be able to put their feelings asides at times and do what is best for their children;

Ø Talk about adoption openly and honestly, acknowledging its joys and its sorrows;

Ø Do not paint all birth parents with one wide broad stroke, and realize that like all parents, some are good, decent people and some are not;

Ø Are compassionate, forgiving and loving to their children and their birth families;

Ø Understand and make every effort to help their children keep in touch with siblings that they may be separated from;

Ø Acknowledge that there are injustices in adoption that we are all responsible for changing;

Ø Know that no matter how loving and caring they are, and no matter how ideal they may be as parents, their children may still need some contact and/or relationships with birth family;

Ø Never force their children to choose between birth and adoptive families;

Ø Understand that both families are “real” families – adoptive and birth;

Ø Do not use degrading or hurtful terminology to describe birth family members;

Ø Take great care to insure that when they adopt, the adoption is an ethical, non-coerced and necessary one;

To Be Continued......................................