Most people probably understand that at reunion, healing often begins for birth parents. Healing and resolution also occurs for adoptees at reunion as well. I have spoken to many adoptees in the process of reunion, and heard the laments of those in difficult and unsatisfying reunions. What separates adoptees who find reunion a positive experience from those who find it a mostly frustrating experience?

Several factors are involved in the level of healing that adoptees can accomplish at reunion. Of course, they have to heal themselves; no one can heal for someone else. However, I believe as parents, we should lovingly try to help our children if we can. Perhaps some adoptees may expect too much at reunion. Anyone who expects reunion to magically resolve all their problems will probably found reunion a less than satisfying experience.

The biggest complaints that I have heard from adoptees about birth mothers are those who still rest in that place of denial. They refuse to provide information about the birth dads and/or will not inform other family members about their relinquished child. Basically, adoptees seem to have the most problems with birth moms who refuse to face and deal with their issues, and be honest and forthright in providing information.

I wrote an article about what birth parents owe to their children at reunion. Several adoptees have told me that they liked the article, and reposted this article on their blogs or other places. Therefore, it makes me believe that the article is on target. See what you think.

Reunion is a challenging experience for most, but, I believe that as birth and adoptive parents, there are certain ways that we can help our children heal at reunion. Adoptive parents sometimes may bristle at the thought that there is anything for their children to "heal" from, and sometimes that could be true. However, for most adoptees, I do believe that some healing, resolution and peace can be achieved through reunion.

To Be Continued..................................