Today is my son, Chris' birthday. I can joyfully celebrate his birthdays now that he is back in my life. It feels so natural and right to finally be able to appreciate and consider the day he was born as an occasion to celebrate.

Birthdays, particularly those of my children, often make me nostalgic. As my son Chris' birthday has loomed closer, my thoughts have drifted to our last visit nearly a month ago. We sat by the water on a log for hours just chatting. As we watched, kite boarders leapt from the water in front of us up into the air. For me, it was a glorious afternoon. As I sat there with my son, the thought crossed my mind. “There is no place else on earth that I would rather be, than here sitting with my son.” It was a glorious day in Seattle. The sun was bright, the sky clear blue and there was a gentle breeze – perfection. We were making a memory, and I want that for us - to have memories together.

Last year, he came to visit and we celebrated both of our birthdays together, mine is one day after his. It was a first for us - we had never spent our birthdays together, unless you include the day he was born and the day after. We obviously were both there, but there was no celebrating.

I baked him a birthday cake for the first time last year - another good memory. This year, he will not be here, so, I will take a cake to celebrate to my CUB meeting. Many birth moms bring cakes to meetings to celebrate their children’s birthdays. It is rare that we have the chance to spend birthdays with our children.

Chris' birthday cards never say, "Happy Birthday, Son". I don't know if he would like that or not. A simple task such as choosing a birthday card is more complex when your child does not have a long history and memories with you. Although our reunion is five years old, we live in different states and have not had a great deal of time together.

A year or so after our reunion began, I wrote to his other mother, the mother who raised him. My heart was so full of things that I needed to say.

To Be Continued.......................................