Sodium Pentothal, the so-called truth serum, was fairly popular at one point in time. It was used as a way to test people to determine if they were telling the truth. These days it is not commonly used as a method for testing an individual for their truthfulness. I wonder if some adoptees seeking answers wish that they could bring it back! The sheer unadulterated truth is often hard to come by in adoption.

There may be any numbers of “good” reasons for sugar-coating or down-playing the truth, or outright lying about the truth. Many people feel that it is sometimes better to shield their loved ones from the truth. They want to protect and spare them from what they may perceive as unnecessary hurt. However, for those of us in adption who have discovered the damage that keeping secrets does, we have a strong need now to finally face and deal with the truth.

Adoptees particularly sometimes have a great deal of difficulty getting to the truth of their “life before adoption” and the circumstances which caused their birth parents to not raise them. The barriers to finding their "truths" are formidable. Yet, many searchers are persistent and never give up. I believe that for many of us needing to know the truth is a deep seated and primal feeling. What else would explain how long and hard some people separated by adoption will search?

Reunion can and should be a time when the whole truth finally surfaces. For adoptees, the truth may be better than they could have imagined. They could find a whole huge birth family eager to embrace them into their fold. Instead of that stereotypical loose, dysfunctional, degenerate mom they may have expected, their birth mom could be bright, successful and a decent, loving person - or not. Siblings and other birth family might be people that you can really relate to and enjoy spending time with - or not.

To Be Continued.......................................