Natural mothers also have expectations, hopes, fantasies, and fears. A natural mother may think that it is possible for the child they relinquished to adoption may search. Some natural mothers have said that they didn’t fantasize about it though because they were too traumatized by the whole event and afraid to disrupt that the life of the person that they relinquished to adoption several years before.

Some natural parents fantasize about the child they relinquished to adoption wondering who she is, how she is, and what she looks like. Some may even like to have a dialogue with the adoptive parents and fantasize that the adoptee knows that he or she is adopted. Some want to know that the child they relinquished had a good life with a solid family and that he or she is alive and well. Some want to know that the adoptee doesn’t feel hate or bitterness towards the natural mother for giving them up for adoption. Some may also fantasize about what they look like and what their personality is like.

Natural mothers also don’t know what to expect. They fear that their son or daughter would reject them and wouldn’t want anything to do with his or her siblings. Some fear the resistance of the adoptive parents and the hostility from the child they relinquished to adoption.

There are natural mothers who fear a one time only meeting and hope that they can be friends and develop an ongoing relationship. Many natural mothers hope that the family that has been waiting to be reunited is welcomed and hope for understanding and support from the adoptive parents.

As a triad member, you may find yourself daydreaming about what might be. The most prevalent hope for the adoptee is to find that missing piece to the puzzle and finally feel whole and connected for the first time in your life.

Most searching triad members want a relationship that is ongoing. Whether or not this is realized on a conscious level or not is another subject but they have hope for a relationship that is ongoing, fear of rejection, fear of being protected, hoping to heal, of letting go and of going on.