Life's under no obligation to give us what we expect.
Margaret Mitchell

Expectations are often a stumbling block in reunions. I will go even further; I believe that unrealistic expectations have the potential to stop a reunion dead in its tracks. If one party in a reunion feels constantly pressured for more, they may feel compelled to retreat.

The retreat may be a temporary measure, or it could be an end to the relationship depending on a number of factors. It is difficult to predict, so many other aspects of the relationship could be involved in a decision to end a new reunion. Generally it takes a combination of factors for someone to decide to end a relationship entirely.

Being too needy or clingy in a reunion, particularly in the beginning, is quite common for at least one of the parties in the relationship. Time usually improves this situation once they settle in to the relationship and trust it more. If the less needy party has read about reunions, they may be better able to ride out and understand their birth family member.

In most reunion relationships, it is rare that both parties are on exactly the same page as far as their expectations for how the relationship should develop. Sometimes a party who constantly feels as though that they are not having their expectations met may feel unhappy with a reunion relationship and want to retreat.

Communicating honestly can help the reuniting parties to reach a middle ground when needed. You might find that the other party is willing to readjust their expectations, or you could be the one who needs a reality check. One other possibility is that your birth family member may be able to meet your expectations once they are clear about what you want.

Some books on reunion caution you to have no expectations, but I think that is nearly impossible. However, you can guard against holding onto unrealistic expectations that may harm your relationship.